JEAN HAYWARD WESSMAN (SHIRTS): Life History

JEAN   HAYWARD WESSMAN   SHIRTS

Born:  6 Mar 1916
            Salt Lake City, Utah

Parents:  John Bengtson Wessman

               Hazel Jean Hayward

Married:  Joseph Alford Shirts

                4 April 1936

Children:  JoAnn Shirts

                Born:  7 Nov 1936

                     Died:  June 1995

                Elaine Shirts

                Born:  March 1938

                Died: 

                John Wesley Shirts

                Born:  October 1940

Died:  June 7, 2004

          Salt Lake City, Utah

   

         Jean Hayward Wessman was born at home and delivered by a doctor. She was a healthy baby. Jean was named after her mother who was a homemaker. Jean had a large middle income family of 13 living siblings (1 deceased) growing up. They were:

1. Merle Hayward Wessman

         Born:  27 Sept 1909, Died:  7 April 1945  

2. Henry (Harry) Hayward Wessman

         Born:  11 June 1911, Died:  24 Mar 1972

3. Richard (Dick) Hayward Wessman

         Born: 10 Aug 1912, Died: 1 Sept 1997   

4. Son

         Died: 1913- Stillbirth

5. Paul Hayward Wessman

         Born: 16 Dec 1914, Died: 16 Nov 1985

6. John Hayward Wessman

         Born: 24 May 1917, Died: 22 Dec 2004

7. Elizabeth (Liz) Hayward Wessman

         Born:  20 Oct 1918, Died: 11 Jan 1999

8. Philip (Phil) Hayward Wessman

         Born: 31 Mar 1920, Died: 12 Mar 1989

9. Ernest (Ernie) Hayward Wessman

         Born: 30 June 1921, Died: 19 Feb. 2010

10. Gammon (Gam) Hayward Wessman

         Born: 26 May 1923, Died: Jan 2/3, 2004

11. Keith Hayward Wessman

         Born: 4 Apr 1925, Died: Living as of 12/2008

12. Norine Hayward Wessman

         Born: 27 Aug 1926, Died: Living as of 12/2008

13. Boyd Hayward Wessman

         Born: 31 mar 1928, Died:  10 Dec 1985

14. Marilyn Hayward Wessman

         Born: 28 Mar 1930, Died: Jan. 2010

                 Jean didn't know her paternal grandfather John Bengtson Wessman. He had died before she was born. She knew her paternal grandmother Amanda Hall Wessman even though she died when Jean was young. She didn't see her much because Amanda worked in the Temple quite a bit.  Her maternal grandmother Elizabeth Ann Pugsley Hayward saw a lot of her grandchildren. Her maternal grandfather Henry Hayward died when Jean was 13 years old. He was a lot of fun. He liked to tease a lot. He was a nice grandfather.

         When she was 5 years old, Jean broke her collar bone. She went to sit in a chair in which the middle was broken. She had slipped through and couldn't get out. She was put into a sling. She was very unhappy. Jean remembers John (7 or 8 years old) standing on a stool in the kitchen making oatmeal/cereal for everyone.

         Jean had fun memories of her mother and father. There was music every night. Usually it was the classics that were played.  Her father played the popular songs of the time.  Her mother and father enjoyed playing duets. The family had a little orchestra. There was a guitar, ukulele and piano. They would sing a lot.

         They also had picnics.  Everyone piled in. Sometimes, they would take along friends. The washtub would be full of lunch to take up the canyons or to a resort to go swimming.  “We were all taught to swim while we were little.” The family had 2 cars. They would be loaded up and up the canyons they would go. Friends would come if there was room. They played baseball, hiked and took instruments and played songs. The family did not go away on big vacations because there was too many of them.

         Her father was a quiet loving family man. Jean loved being around him anytime she could. He would tease but not a lot. Jean called him “Daddy.” Her earliest memory of her father, is sitting on his shoulder watching the parade of soldiers coming home from World War I.  “I think I was about 3?”  Henry liked being with his family. He loved baseball. He would play baseball with his children. Jean doesn't recall him ever being sad.  He would play hopscotch, jacks and jump rope. He would play marbles with the boys. “My father was a great father.. He never raised his voice. He never hit anyone. He would sometimes help Harry to move faster by putting his foot on his behind.  When Henry said “quit,” everyone did. We were in the habit of doing what we were told. He thought that girls didn't do heavy housework. The boys did the heavy cleaning of the inside woodwork. The girls did light work like vacuuming.”

          Jean’s earliest memory of her mother was just taking care of the family. Her husband called her “mother.”

         Jean has good memories of her siblings.  Sometimes there were some good fights. There were not so many jokes.  She never had a room of her own. She shared the room with her sisters. It was not always easy.  Liz was not the easiest person to get along with. She was bigger than me so we never shared clothes. She would get mad because she couldn’t wear my shoes.

         Family traditions were times with music. The happiest times in her life were when the family was gathered together in the evenings playing music. The family was fun and loving.  Her father and mother played the piano. They would also play duets. The family band consisted of Jean playing the piano, Keith and John played the accordion, Dick and Paul played the guitar, Phil played the drums and Ernie played the harmonica. They played pop songs or the early tunes of the day. John, Dick, Paul and Jean would play for ward dances. After all the children were married, it was harder to get together. They tried to get together at Thanksgiving as a family.  

         At Christmas time, each child usually got one piece of clothing, Christmas sock, candy and one toy. Easter time, the children received one hard boiled egg and some candy on a plate. But mostly, it was fun with music.

         Jean grew up mostly in Ogden and Salt Lake City, Utah. Her father worked for different newspapers. First, they lived in Salt Lake City. Next, they lived in Ogden where he worked for the “Standard Examiner”. He was a typesetter. The family also lived in Provo, Utah for a short time.

         Jean always went to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  She went to Sunday school, mutual, primary, religion classes (similar to mutual for kids).  She eventually stopped going to the religion class. “That was many years ago and no one ever talks about it any more.”

         Her  father usually got home late so they didn’t always have family prayer. The parents made sure that the children always went to church.

         On dates, Jean would date different people.  They would go bicycle riding or have picnics in the canyons where they would have a bar-b-Q. Dating was mostly done in groups.  That was the norm. “My father didn’t think any man was good enough for his daughters.” He would tell the dates what time to have us home and they didn’t dare NOT to have us home on time.

         In 1932, Jean was 16 years old her father died of a ruptured gastric ulcer. The family was living in Ogden at the time. He had pain in his stomach and then it went away. He then got sick and had a high temperature. The doctor was called and that was when he was put in the hospital in Salt Lake. Elizabeth Ann Pugsley Hayward was with her daughter and her family when the hospital called to say that he had died. She was the one who broke the news. “I went into the bathroom, shut the door and cried.  I wanted to be by myself. I was a favorite of my dads. He used to tell me.”

          After her father's death, the income went from middle income to low income. It was a hardship on the family. The older kids went to work to help out. Jean worked and all of her money as well as money contributed by her siblings went into a family fund. The household expenses were taken out of that fun.  The father had a little insurance money but it didn't last long.  She was very proud when she was able to find her first job.  She did clerical work.  That was an accomplishment especially during the depression. 

         All of the children in the family contributed money from their wages to help take care of their mother. It was better than going on welfare. The family ate dinner every night together. They didn't really have any hardships until after the father's death. There was a lot of emotional support from the extended family. The family was very close. They also received a lot of support from friends and the church.

          During World War II, 8 out of her 9 brothers were in military service. They were initially in the National Guard and were activated. They couldn't get out of it. Jean didn't like fighting. She didn't like wars. Four were in the army, one was in the Air Force and three in the Navy. Luckily, they all came back. Dick was the only one hurt in Italy. He was working on a plane wing when the engine fell and broke his back. He was deaf in one ear as a result. Phil was in the Battle of the Bulge and was in the hospital with battle fatigue.  Keith was on a destroyer that had three typhoons and kamikaze attacks. Ernie was in the field artillery. He was in the group that liberated “Dakow” which was the Jewish prisoner camp. The family found all this out after they all got home. Everyone was anxious about the boys and was so relieved when they came home.

                 Jean attended Birch Creek (Birch “Crick”) elementary school in Ogden. She attended Lewis Junior High School also. She took a 6 week course at West High School doing business secretarial training.

            Jean graduated from Weber High School early. She had skipped two grades. She graduated from high school at the age of 16.  She had finished twelve grades in ten years. They said that she was too advanced. They don't do that anymore. Her favorite subject was history and English. Her favorite teacher was Swenson who taught shorthand.  Another subject that she liked was Spanish. That was taught by someone by the name of Hancock. She enjoyed school and had good attendance. She was involved in different student activities such as the Spanish  and Business clubs.  She played basketball and liked it.

         Jean had a lot of boys in the neighborhood that were “ga ga” over her.  She would try to get rid of all her siblings so she could spend time in the living room alone with these boys.  She had several boyfriends.  She was the big sister so when she ordered out the younger siblings, they complied. It was quite challenging at times.

         Ernie remember Jean play Joe Shirts again Joe Holland (violinist who used to play with Dick and John, Jim Nerdon and a couple of other guys that were in the band).

               Ernie and his family traveled with Jean, Joe and their family from Salt Lake City to Wayne Wonderland to Price to Zion’s National Park, to the Grand Canyon then to St. George.  They were both in 49 Model A Fords.  Joe couldn't' go 15 miles without boiling over.

                 Jean met Joseph Alford Shirts (Joe) on Easter Sunday. This was on April 21, 1935. They went on a double date up to the canyons. Jean was staying with Harry in Salt Lake City. The girl across the street was a friend. Her husband Dave Adamson was a cousin of Joe’s best friend.  On dates, Jean and Joe would go up to the canyons, dinners, movies or dancing. Jean doesn’t remember her first impression of Joe. She said that “first dates are never that wild.” They dated on and off for 9 months. They never had a formal engagement. They would say “...maybe in a month.” They didn’t have a wedding because no one could afford it. This was during the Great Depression days. They eloped to Heber City, Utah and got married. They were married a couple of months before telling her mother. Her father had died years previously. The witnesses for the wedding were friends of theirs. They were later sealed as a family for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake City, Utah. All three of their children were there for that sacred occasion.

Jean and Joe would get together with Paul and Lorraine to play cards and just talk.  It was enjoyable for these couples to get together.

         The first few years of their married life, it was very tough financially. Each family was allotted so many coupons for meat, dairy and gas. They would either walk or take the bus.

         The pregnancies were normal. She was never sick or nauseated. She also didn't get very big or uncomfortable. She only gained 10 pounds with JoAnn. JoAnn  and Elaine weighed approximately 6 pounds. She gained 7 pounds with Johnny and he weighed 7 pounds. The longest labor was 1 hour and 15 minutes. Elaine was 50 minutes and Johnny was 55 minutes. She got nervous and developed high blood pressure when pregnant with Johnny and so her labor was induced.  This was 2 days from her due date.

         She and Joe decided not to have any more children because of Joe's health. She didn't know how she would support them if something ever happened to Joe. 

         Jean didn't feel that there was a difference between her daughters and her son except that Johnny was more active.  Elaine had rheumatic fever when she was 5 years old. She was not allowed to run around and had to stay down. She would be carried downstairs to a bed on the outside porch. She would sit there with the dog. She just watch the other kids. Jean had to take her often to have the sedetation rates checked. Jean had taken Elaine for some blood tests and that is when they found out that the “Seditation rate” was too high. She previously had a lot of throat problems and infections..  It was a very worrisome time for this mother to know that her daughter's health was in danger. JoAnn was a fun baby. She was fat, chubby and had no hair. She didn't get any hair until she was about a year old.

         Jean and Joe enjoyed their children. Jean enjoyed sewing for them, taking them out. They never went any where until Johnny was 5. “We seldom left them except for church dances. We were appointed to teach dance in different wards by the stake.”  They taught square dancing and ballroom dancing. “When we went to the Golden Green Balls, we were part of the exhibition dancing group. It was fun. We really enjoyed it. We liked to dance.”

         They thought that they were pretty good kids. Joe REALLY loved the children. It was when the children got to be teenagers that the problems started. “The biggest problems was with JoAnn. She got involved with those nit wits in Junior High.” We never beat her but we tried to talk to her. She was too stubborn or too independent to listen to anyone.

         Every summer, the family would take a trip to national parks, camping, fishing etc. One of Jean’s favorite memory is when they were on one of these vacations. Johnny kept telling us what he was going to do if he saw a bear. We saw a bear coming down the road. He was sitting in the middle of the back seat when he saw the bear. “Roll up the windows quick. Here comes a bear!”

          We lived in a house on E Street  with my mother and we had the upstairs apartment.  We lived there from 1938- 1952. We were helped out financially by this arrangement.  Jean would  scrub the floors. Her mother was not able to do this. This was during the depression and it was tough financially. Jean helped her. Not many people were working.  Joe was working with the WPA (Work Progress Administration). He was hired at the Hotel Utah (now the Joseph Smith Memorial Building) as a houseman. He moved furniture around to different rooms or anything else that needed to be done.

          “When Johnny was 2 ½ , I heard him calling me. I looked at him out the window of our upstairs window. He had climbed the pine tree. He was all scratched up. I was scared to death but also afraid to yell. I said “That’s nice, can you get down?” He said “yep” and climbed back down. My heart was beating. I was sure that he was going to fall.

         Johnny gave me another  scare. He had been talking to a neighbor boy and was leaning out the upstairs window. He fell and lit on the ground between the 2 sidewalks right in the mud.  It had just stopped raining. The doctor and I stayed up with him all night watching him. He was all right with no harm done. Jean would do the housework after the children went to bed. She couldn't leave Johnny alone for a minute. He was “wild as a march hare.”

         JoAnn and Elaine played well together a lot. “I made all their clothes. I made Johnny's shirts until he was about 10 years old.

         In 1952, Joe and Jean moved from E Street to 2505 East Commonwealth Avenue. They had bought a house with the money that Hazel “Jean” got from the house on E Street. Hazel Jean moved with them. She lived with them for many years because she didn't want to live with anyone else.  Jean's mother had no source of income so they were willing to take care of her. Back then, people took care of their parents.

        It was nice having her mother there.  They enjoyed each others company. She was also there when the kids got home from school. When Joe got sick with his first heart attack, she helped him to recover.  Hazel Jean would go to church, do her music, do dishes etc. She got along really well with Joe. Jean was so grateful for that and said “thank goodness!”  Joe was easy to get along with  “Sometimes”  (said  his wife smiling) ”Joe had gall bladder surgery and ended up getting pneumonia and phlibites. He  was laid up for 9 months. Jean had to go to work to bring income into the family. This was about 1945. Johnny was 5 years old. Joe eventually went back to work. Hazel Jean was an important force in his recovery. Since the children were all in school, Jean continued working. Joe had a number of heart attacks over the years which worried Jean.  Joe was working at Dilworth Elementary School and he fell through the roof. He was injured. As a result of all his health problems, he retired in about 1966.

         When first married, Jean had worked doing research. She then got a job as a secretary when Joe got sick. She then worked for Dr. Ger McQuarry. He was in General Practice. It was Dr. McQuarry's house that Jean and Joe bought on Commonwealth Ave. When he left, she went to work for Dr. Beck. He was an Ears, Nose and Throat doctor. She worked for him for many years.

         One day Jean was driving Johnny's heavy car along 23^rd East when another car was coming down 17^th South. The other car didn't stop and hit her  broadside. It was a good thing that she was in a heavy car or else she would have been more seriously hurt or even killed. The car was almost totaled. She sustained an neck injury. She was in traction  for 2 years. It didn't help. She lost feeling in her left arm. She ended up having surgery. She had 3 vertebrae's fused. She got some feeling back in that arm but it  did not have the same strength that the other arm had. It  never really bothered or hampered her too much after that. She was an excellent and fast typist and she was able to keep that talent/skill after the recovery. She remembers the accident. She saw the car coming down the hill. She thought it was going to stop since she had the right of way. Jean turned to look the other way and the next thing she knew was that she was hurt bad.

         Hazel Jean suffered from a stroke (not a severe one) that affected her swallowing and her right side. Early one morning, she had a heart attack and died. Jean went into her room and  found her. She thought she heard a noise and got up to check it out. Her mother was dead but not long. Joe called the doctor who confirmed that she had died. Jean missed her mother and  was upset with her passing. The mother and daughter would go to Relief Society, church, shopping etc. together. They had a good relationship.

         Joe and Jean had their own family traditions. On Christmas morning, the presents would be passed out to the kids. Each had their own stack of presents. It was Joe who would pass out the presents.

         The Joseph Shirts family took trips that they truly enjoyed. They went to Yellowstone in their Model A Ford. It took about a week. JoAnn was 10, Elaine was 8 and Johnny was little.  They also liked to go to Southern Utah.  They went to all the Southern Utah parks. They would get away whenever they could.

         Joe and Jean flew back and visited Johnny in Minnesota. This was a time that they cherished because they didn't see each other very often. Johnny always showed them a great time. This also gave them a chance to see a different part of the country.

         Jean and Joe would go fishing to Moon Lake. This was by Mountain Home, (Duchesne) Utah where Joe was raised. They would go by themselves, with their children, grandchildren, and/or friends.. They took Timmy Wessman (Jean's nephew) and he thought it was the “best place in the world.” They would go as often as they could. Jean liked to fish but she didn't like eating it. She knew how to clean fish but usually Joe would do it for her. She never complained.  At first, they had tents and cooked over the camp fire. Jean wasn't too crazy about that. She enjoyed it much better when they bought  a trailer.

         Jean and Joe had many mutual friends. They were mostly people that Joe worked with. Some of their good friends were Wayne and Lucille Cochrane,  Byrd and Lee Eddy, Don and __________Pierce. They were go on trips together. They would also bowl every week. Sometimes it would be on a mixed league. Other times, Joe would bowl in a mens league and Jean would bowl in  a womans league.  They were  pretty good bowlers. They won many awards and trophies. Jean bowled for many years. She quit when she had surgery on her wrist. She could never bowl like she had before the surgery. She also said that she was getting tired of bowling after so many years.

         Jean and Joe would teach dances and do floor shows in the Stake all the time that they were living in the 20^th ward  (at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). It was really fun. They were good dancers. There were four of them. They danced with Chet and Dorothy Coles. Chet and Dorothy were also in their Family Home Evening Group in which they met once a month. This group met for many many year but it dwindled smaller and smaller as the different participants died.

         Jean and Joe would have spats but they never stayed angry with each other. “Joe's temper was the most frustrating. He learned to control it because it didn't do any good.”  They were both stubborn in their own way. They strengthened their marriage by doing things together and what the other person was interested in. They didn't like to do a lot of things without each other. She just knew that Joe loved her and the children. One way that he showed this was that he always wanted to be with them. After Joe died, one of the hardest adjustments was to go places without her spouse.

         The funniest thing about Joe that Jean thought was when he talked about his experiences as a kid. She couldn't relate to it. She never lived on a farm, stole chickens.

         Several generations  and different family members have lived at 2505 Commonwealth Avenue in Salt Lake City, Utah. After JoAnn divorced Ray, she and her 3 children lived with her parents up to the time that she married Cal.  Elaine and Terry also lived with them for awhile.  Paul Wessman (Jean's nephew) also lived with them. Joe's mother, Susan Irvine Shirts Watrous lived with them too. Of course, Jean's mother did.

         Jean loved her grandkids. JoAnn married Ray Binkerd and had Charles Albert Binkerd (Chuck), Raymond Scott Binkerd (Scott) and Toni Lee Binkerd. She divorced Ray and married Cal LeMmon. From that marriage, she had Gerald K. LeMmon (Jerry) and Bryan Keith LeMmon. For many years, Joe and Jean considered JoAnn’s step sons (Carl & David LeMmon) as their own grandchildren. However, later on in life, she didn’t feel that way anymore after having some bad experiences with them and JoAnn divorced Cal. Elaine married Bob Lundberg. She had one daughter name Theresa Lee (Terry) Lundberg. Johnny married Vicki Erickson. They had John Shirts, Andrew Shirts and Lisa Koo Shirts.

         From the grandchildren, her prosperity grew even larger. At the time of her death, she had the following great grandchildren. Chuck had  Jessica Binkerd, Robin Binkerd, Alexander (Alex) Binkerd and Anthony Scott Binkerd (Scott). Scott had Linden (Lindy) Binkerd and Anne Jeanette (Angie) Binkerd. Toni had Micah Wyeth (stillbirth), Dallas Wyeth, Philip Wyeth, Zachary Wyeth (stillbirth), Kaleb Wyeth and Autumn Wyeth.  Jean was visiting John in Minnesota when she found out that Micah had died. It was on Scott’s birthday. She felt so horrible both for having a grandchild die and for Toni and what she was going through. Bryan had Deseree LeMmon, Heather LeMmon,  Heidi LeMmon, and Bryce LeMmon.

         Terry had two daughters. They are Mindy Manwill and Amy Manwill.

         John Shirts had  three children. They are Johnny, Andy & Lisa.     

         JoAnn called and told her parents that she and Cal were going to get divorced. She asked them to come to San Jose, California to pick up the kids while details were being worked out. Joe was recovering from heart problems so Ray Binkerd went down with Jean.  The conditions in the home were bad. Cal had knocked holes in the wall and in the cupboards.  The house was filthy. Cal would beat the kids. There was a lot of neglect and abuse.  “When we got home to Salt lake and the trunk was opened, the underwear and clothes were gray, stained and in an atrocious manner.” We had to get new clothes. JoAnn moved up to Salt Lake City. Cal came up with her or soon after. They took the kids to live in a house on 17^th South and about 11^th East.

         Chuck and Scott were bought new suits for church. When they went back to JoAnn and Cal temporarily, Carl and David were allowed to wear the suits. JoAnn felt that “what was good for one, was good for the other and that they could interchange their clothes”

          Right after Cal came up that Christmas, he and JoAnn came and got the kids (Chuck, Scott & Toni) on Christmas Eve. They said that they were taking them to Cal's family Christmas party and they would return as a certain time. They didn't bring them back home.  
         Chuck had run away to our house and never went back. JoAnn sent the police but Chuck said that he wouldn't go back. The police left him here because he was with his grandparents. He had been  living with us. Scott tried to run away but they caught him and made him go back.   The following July, Joe and Jean were at Moon Lake fishing.. Ray drove up with Scott and Toni. They had run away with no clothes with them. Scott has his baseball uniform and Toni had her cat Tiger. Ray called the police from Moon Lake and found out that there was a missing persons report on them. He told them where the kids were. When they got back home, the juvenile police were after us AGAIN.

            “The courts wouldn't let the kids be up at our place for awhile. It then got to a point that we had them part time-just on weekends.  During the week, they stayed with JoAnn. Later on during the court proceedings, we were able to have the kids most of the time.  She had the opportunity to have the kids 2 hours once a week. At first, she and Cal picked them up but it got to a point that they didn't pick them up anymore.  She didn't come up at all. Hard. ..  I kept thinking how hard it must have been for her to have her kids run away from her. It's taken many years for her to get over it.” 

         “Ray decided to sue for custody. The ensuing court battle was awful and  emotional for everyone.  Everyone had to psychoanalyzed. The judge decided that JoAnn nor Ray were fit to take care of them.  Toni told the judge that if she had to go back, she would burn the house down.”We were asked if we would take them or else they would be put into foster homes. Ray couldn't have them neither could JoAnn. Ray's hours that he worked as a policeman wasn't certain and kept changing. He  also didn't pay child support or contacted them for many years.  The judge felt that he had given up his privileges and proved himself irresponsible.

         Joe and Jean were told that because of their age and Joe's health that they would never get custody. There was a family by the name of McConkie that Jean grew up with.  One of the children was named Briton (Brit) and he was a lawyer.  Joe and Jean went to him for legal advice. After giving legal advice, Brit (very spiritual man)  asked them what they thought God would want them to do. They replied that they felt that they were to try to get custody of the 3 children.  They couldn't get custody of Bryan and Jerry because Ray was not their father. There was some other legal issues that stopped them from getting custody of them even though they wanted to. It was quite the strain on the grandparents emotions. “We would have done anything to keep the kids  together.”  Eventually,   we took legal custody of  Chuck (13years old), Scott (11 years old) and Toni (9 years old).”  “I wouldn't let Cal beat them to death. I regret all the bad feelings that it cost. It also cost a lot financially but that is all right.”

         JoAnn blamed us for taking the children and causing the problems. It wasn't us. Ray had sued for custody and that was what started the  custody battle. JoAnn said that WE were trying to take the kids away. That was not our intent. It was very hard to take. She said that she would never talk to us again. You couldn't blame her because her ego was hurt because her children ran away from her.

           When my sister Merle died, I was all alone with her in the hospital. She seemed to want to go. She would look into the corner and say “Look at those kids. They look like they are having fun. I want to go and play with those kids.” Merle had Down’s Syndrome and something to do with her thyroid gland. My oldest brother died of a massive heart attack at the age of 68? He left behind his wife and 7 children. They were all married but Sue. Paul and Boyd died within 3 weeks of each other. Paul died of cancer and Boyd died very suddenly. Boyd’s death was the worst because we knew that Paul was dying. Philip died March 1989 after open heart surgery complications in Colorado.     
           As some of the great grandchildren grew and married, they also added to the family.  Jean became a great-great grand mother. Mindy married Chris Warguez and had James Junior (J.J.) Jean was thrilled with having a great great grand child. She couldn’t believe that she was old enough to have a great great grandchild. She was so enthralled with J.J. and every little thing that he did. It gave her a spark to life that she felt she needed.

When Terry’s children were small, she said “I’ve had more fun with my great grandkids. Mindy likes to play games like Uno, different word games and yahtzee. Amy likes to color, draw and read. They both like to play school. Amy has fun doing everything.” Angie loves to eat peas and ride horses and Lindy is taking dancing. Jessica is taking piano. Robin is  working hard in school.

         The joy of being a great grandmother is that of enjoying and having them visit at the house. It made her tired especially when the children were little. They wanted to go walking with Munch (the dog), go to the park and play.

         Joe had congestive heart failure and ended up on oxygen. He couldn't move around much. He had a lot of pain in his legs because of the poor blood circulation. “At night, I'd  reach over and put my hand on his chest to feel his chest moving.  Another thing, that I would do is put my ear to his chest and hear his heart flutter around. It was pretty hard watching my husband suffer. I had to “steel” myself and build up reserves so I didn't howl your head off everyday.”

         In November of 1982, Joe's heart was so enlarged and had a hard time beating.  He collapsed in the bathroom and the paramedics had to be called. The dog Munch wouldn't let them in so he was put in another room with the door closed. He was in the hospital 4 days when he died. His heart just quit working. He said not to revive him if he died. Dr. Dalrymple had also left a message that said  “D.N.R.” (Do Not Resusitate) or no heroic measures. The nurse told Jean not to leave because his heart had almost quit. 
         Right before he died, he was mumbling and it appeared that he was talking to someone. He also kept reaching out his hand and said “Help me” as if he was reaching out to some unseen being. He would talk a number of times about how excited he was to see his mother and father again. Jean was by his side when she noticed  that he wasn't breathing anymore.  When Jean rang for the nurse, she knew that Joe was now with his mother... JoAnn was on the phone talking to Johnny and Elaine was there also  at that moment. It was a very quiet death. The last 2 years of his life, he hated it. He couldn't do  the things that he wanted to do. He was so miserable and in such great pain. Jean missed him greatly but wouldn't want him back like that.  She knew that he was now pain free. She also knew that she would see him again. She gained strength from that and also from the knowledge that they were sealed for time and all eternity.

         “After, I just went on. It was hard being alone and making my own decisions without his input and just being by myself. I had my grandchildren which help me cope.”

         In 19--, Chuck and Patty invited her to go over to Japan for a month to visit them. “We had a lot of fun riding trains, exploring little villages, visiting Hiroshima, going to the zoos and just having fun exploring Japan. Jean enjoyed most exploring Iogima, Shrine Island, pagodas, shrines and climbing up to the castle. She was grateful that she was able to see ________ get baptized while she was there.

         The public toilets are a shock. They are low ground  squat toilets. It's so hard when you have never done it before.” Jean had some culture

shock in some things. Some of these were the dirt they had in the cities, the open sewers. “On the main streets, things are pretty clean but get off the beaten paths, the houses are right together, the sewage is bad. They hang their clothes on the balcony because dryers are so small. It would take 1 ½ hours to dry one shirt. So, they hang everything out on the balcony. Everyday, they hang their sleeping mats on the balcony to air them out.”

         Some of the hobbies that Jean enjoyed were bowling, crochet, music, fishing, reading and swimming. One of her favorite authors was Mary Higgins Clark.

(March 1989)